I've been reading through Proverbs and a few days ago the daily reading was focused on walking in integrity and not being a fool. The author shared that Proverbs 19:1 in the AMPC adds 1 word to describe a fool; a "[self-confident] fool". The author of the devotional then said, "the ultimate description of a fool is one who relies on himself to carry out his own way." Well, that led me to the question "what is wrong with self-confidence?" It also led me to a further “discussion” with Jesus and writing in my journal.
Let's just say that over the years, "confidence" has NOT been my middle name. I have sat quietly in meetings, choosing to only listen. I may have even missed some great opportunities over the years because I was afraid of taking a risk.
I understand as Christians, we can't let pride get in the way, but I don't think God wants us to just sit around with our hands folded and not get involved, either.
So, I looked up the definition of confidence: "having a strong belief or full assurance, sure of oneself, bold."
Wow, I like that! I have a strong belief in God and full assurance that He is who He says He is. However, am I sure of myself or bold? Sometimes yes, but not always. God is still working on that in my life.
Currently, this lack of self-confidence is rearing its ugly head in my writing. You see, the Lord spoke to me several years ago that I am to write. It's in my fingertips. However, I feel like I do a lot of second guessing, wondering if anyone will read what I write and I have not been too consistent.
The Lord challenged me to not focus on why I'm not "confident", but rather on what (or Who) I can be confident.
"I am confident that the Creator, who has begun such a great work among you, will not stop in mid-design but will keep perfecting you until the day Jesus the Anointed, our Liberating King, returns to redeem the world." (Philippians 1:6 The Voice)
I'm sure, confident, that He is working in me and through me and that for whatever reason, He has chosen me to write what I'm learning, so others can "focus upward" on Jesus. He is not stopping "mid-design"!
It's not that I'm putting trust in myself, but I need to be bold and brave (my word for 2018). If Jesus lives me (which He does) then it is really God-confidence. I can delight in Him that He will bring fruit from my offerings. If I keep these offering or my "wonderings" in my writing to myself...I am missing out on the blessings of how He wants to use me.
So...in order to continue this process of getting over myself and learning more about the craft of writing, I've decided to join other writers for a free online course at the Flourish Conference. If you have a dream of writing...why don't you join me? (Hurry for your free ticket, registration closes on March 5th). I've listened to the first 2 teaching and they have been very helpful!
In the meantime, I'm going to keep my head up, focused on Jesus and allow Him to instill His confidence, His assuredness into my life!
Where do you need God-confidence? Please share below!
This post is part of Kate Motaung's "Five Minute Friday," which she hosts on the Five Minute Friday website. Kate posts a single word each week and each blogger sets a timer for 5 minutes to write and then posts, with very little editing. (Some weeks I have more trouble with that part than others) Check out the other writers this week!