Psalm 10:1 (The Message) "God, are you avoiding me? Where are you when I need you?"
Have you ever felt like David? Unsure of "where" God is?
Looking back over the past few months, I have felt that way, at times. I truly sensed I had heard from God and pursued a new position at work. Still with the same company, and even in the same building, but in a different department. I was unsure at first, but the more I prayed, thought about it, and talked with others, I believed I had the "green light" to go ahead. I was confident that the job was going to be mine...until it wasn't. I got a red light and I wasn't happy about it. I received the email that said they were looking at other candidates and that I was not among them.
Frankly, I was devastated. Did I miss God? Where was He in my disappointment?
I am thankful that God is big and has strong shoulders that I can cry on. He can handle my fears and my questions. Believe me, I had several as I worked through the situation.
Fast forward 2 months. The person who did get the position was starting work in a few days. In my flesh, I really didn't want to like her, much less to work with her or to help her if she had questions.
You know what? In the midst of my "not-so godly-attitude", I found God. Even though I didn't feel Him or couldn't see Him working, I actually did know right "where" He was all the time. He was walking with me, growing me up, and giving me the grace to do exactly what I didn't want to do. Meeting her wasn't as hard or as awkward as I was fearing. I was genuinely interested in getting to know her better. I was also free to share with her how things worked in the past and that I was looking forward to working together.
I realized I hadn’t lost God. I didn't miss Him or misunderstand Him. He had another area of my character in mind. He healed a part of me I didn't realize needed to be (or really wanted to be ) healed. God gave me grace so I can extend grace to others. He truly can be found if we only seek Him!
“When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” Jeremiah 29:13-14 (The Message)
This post is part of Kate Motaung's "Five Minute Friday," which she hosts on the Five Minute Friday website. Kate posts a single word each week and each blogger sets a timer for 5 minutes to write and then posts, with very little editing. Check out the other writers this week!